Avalon Absinthe

Overwhelmed. I expect it to be a precursor to something grand. Vulnerability is such a uncomfortable yet beautiful thing. It’s like stabbing yourself in the heart. It opens you up like nothing else. You bleed like nothing else.

Taking it all in
Humbling
Recognizing that temporary moments
Of happiness seem to taste the sweetest
My perspective is changing
It has to
The hell I’ve created
For myself
I will escape
The strength of my conviction
Will show me a heaven I’ve never known
And my, my
How I’ve struggled
How I’ve battled
How I’ve fallen and failed
But tonight i feel free
I feel beautiful
I feel I’m everything I’ve ever wanted to be
There is nothing more i can ask for
Letting go of everything that weighed me down for so long
No more worry
No more self doubt
I will take what is rightfully mine
I will get what I want
I will make you all see
My story, my song
Traced around every breath I take
Turning it all around is necessary.

Circling around
Anticipation participates
Anxieties driven away
Today we reap the joys
The effort comes to fruition
With purest hope
Innocence visits
In a future with progressive
Beauty, Ambition, Communication
We will rise, We will reckon

Shameless.

With every desire I have dreamed and developed in my entire existence, you fulfill and exceed all expectations. Without trying, with complete sincerity, you are the very essence of beauty: both perfect and flawed in the same breath. Villain, hero, warrior, minion; Triumphant tyrant. Absolutely all I could ever want. I love you beyond any words I could attempt at explaining.

Your priorities are shit. Time for a paradigm shift.

Mothers day.

Remember friends- your mother is the first person you have contact with in the world. The first embrace. The first kiss. Most of our mothers present us with the first concept of love. Imagine how that frames your life? I know some of you may not have had a healthy relationship with your mother. Some of you may have never known your mother or have never had her present in your life. Some of your fathers, grandparents, extended family, friends are more like a mother to you [this is true for myself]. But no matter the form of mother you have- cherish her. Forgive each other. Try to understand each other. We may not be immortal but our connection to those who’ve made us and the love we create and share is. Happy mothers day to all-alive, dead, in any form.

Too afraid to feel. Too afraid to let go. It’s time to progress beyond what’s common and what’s expected. All the expectations and intolerances we limit ourselves with only disservice ourselves. Come what may.

I hate people who feel the need to call themselves pretty or handsome. It pisses me off. If you’re hot- people usually tell you that frequently. No use in talking your self up as well. That just makes you ugly and sound insecure.

Stoned Immaculate

Watching the doors movie. Reminds me of this dude I met in college that tried way too hard to be like Jim Morrison. He resembled him physically and also had the same pretentiousness and drug habits. He painted a picture of me naked once and never let me see it. He told me I had eyes like Venus one time while looking up porn in the computer lab. He was somewhat of a douche bag but I will admit he was overly attractive. I wonder what happened to him? I think his name was tommy.